By far my favorite Royal Wedding read. The haters can leave me to my Pimm’s and funny hats.
ROYAL WEDDING WRAP UP: FINAL THOUGHTS
• To start, I would like to address the naysayers. While the world may have gone Middleton mad, my corner of it is about 20 percent Royal Wedding fans/80 percent angry grumps who wear t-shirts proclaiming how not interested they are in such socially questionable frivolity. And while I appreciate their point, I would like to ask them, what the hell is wrong with you?
Fine, you don’t want to watch a bunch of British monarchs getting dressed up and marrying off their balding young prince. So don’t watch it. Do I get on a high horse and ask anyone to give me medals for not watching March Madness (I do only a little) which does a lot more harm to the world if you look at its effect on the education system and the television schedule than watching a wedding ever did? Do I consider myself a hero for not going to Coachella? (Not very much).
Well, maybe you’re making a big stand against the British monarchy. Congratulations, aren’t you brave? We had a little posse out here about 230 years ago that sorta settled that issue for we Americans, but welcome aboard. Always glad to have more converts to the cause.
But as a result of that little dust-up they fought, we can watch George III’s descendents get gussied up as pure spectators without any fear that they are going to come and make us put up their Hessian mercenaries in our homes, so don’t worry about it. It’s just a TV show.
Or maybe you have more important things to do than bother yourself with such frivolity? And that’s just terrific. We’re all very grateful you’re going to stay up all night studying public housing statistics while we bubbleheads are debating Kate’s dress. I’m sure the report you produce will turn the whole nation’s debate right on its head, so thanks for that.
• Because in the end, the thing is a celebration (we hope) of young couple being in love and anyone who has ever been to a wedding knows, whatever your hostility to the ceremonial aspects, whether you are pro-British/pro-monarchy/pro-rich people in hats, that’s always a moving thing. That’s why it’s the plot of pretty much every movie ever made, except 2 or 3, every book ever written.
• It is interesting and very jealous making to see a world where people can wear crazy hats and sashes with medals on them and swords and vests and not have it be a precious affectation. I often wish - I usually wish we lived in a world where people still put on a suit to ride in aeroplanes. And some vulnerable moments, I’ve tried to pretend we do and started wearing suits every day on my own. But the result is of course, a precious affectation, because wish it though I may, its not the society I live in. But for these Royals there is an unbroken chain of getting dressed up for functions going back to the birth of England itself when there no doubt was some important reason for people to keep their heads covered. Down since the 3rd Century, they’ve never had a wedding where everyone thought it was cool if they just showed up in t-shirts. No doubt they too will soon. But in the meantime, they get to wear swords and sashes and hats and without feeling like they’re just being ponces. And I don’t.
• It’s nice that the Queen doesn’t join in when they sing God Save the Queen. Very humble of her.
• On the other hand, it’s weird that they don’t all turn and look at her when they all sing it. I mean, they’re saying God Save the Queen, and she’s standing right there. Do they think she’ll think they’re talking about another queen?
• Whatever your position is on hereditary rules (on balance, considering what we’ve got here, I’d take it) it’s kinda an amazing thing to see this old couple (Queen and Phillip) whose whole job besides pretending to rule the nation is being dignified, and to always be dignified no matter what. Even if we don’t have unelected sovereigns, can’t we have that. Just pick a couple and say, your job for the rest of your lives is just to be dignified. No matter how crazy, pathetic, ridiculous, unclothed society may get, you will always frown and stare straight ahead, greeting the world with a barely percepitable nod. The rest of the nation will be dressed in tank tops with piercings through every corner of their body, but you will always wear and suit and/or frock. Wouldn’t it help in this age to have just one of them?
• Why is everyone talking about the dress and not the Aston Martin? When a car like that is brought into the picture, there can be no debate.